HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

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Good evening everyone!!!! Happy Mothers Day!! I know it’s not Thursday but I was so inspired by Mothers’s Day, I couldn’t resist. Today is a very special day for women all over the world. It doesn’t matter if you have children or not, each and every one of us has been a mother  to someone at some point in time. Today is all about gratitude.

I am so thankful to have my mother and grandmother, both women are amazing and I feel very blessed to have them in my life. My mom is the most amazing woman in the world, but boy oh boy if you pi$$ her off……well, all I have to say is run….and take cover!! LOL! Just kidding.  😉 No, but seriously she definitely didn’t take any crap growing up that’s for  sure. I guess she gets it from my grandmom. They just don’t make them like that anymore. She is “Strong like bull” LOL!  (my grandmom) Nan, as I call, has told me some very helpful  advice over the years about men. She would always say “Erica, be careful of those men!!! They only want  one thing!! Men always say if you love me….SHOW ME  you love me!”. (meaning give up the goods) HAHAHA!! Too funny!! I always thought to myself “Nan…..what if I only want that one thing as well??”. LOL!! Just kidding. But boy is she tough. She is the foundation of my family. She has created a generation of women that are proud, courageous, independent and yes, sometimes a little crazy!! LOL! I promise that it will never be a dull moment when one of the Johnson women are around. 😉

I will never forget her dirty jokes, they always make for a good laugh. I’m not sure what’s funnier, the fact that an 86 year old women is telling a dirty joke or the fact that she always tells it wrong? 🙂 Let’s not forget her special talent of being  brutally honest without caring what people think. Every Christmas when I get to go home she has no problem telling me how she really feels. First she yells at me for gaining weight saying I eat too much. Then she yells at me when I don’t eat everything on my plate saying I’m wastful! LOL! I can’t win. Ahhhhhh….. growing up we definetly had some good times. Memories that will last a lifetime. My grandmom is amazing mother which in turn made my mom and amazing mother so hopefully I’m next in line to be an amazing mother as well. Yup, I said it!! I can’t wait to one day have little bambinos. 😉 Someday… not tomorrow. Happy Mother’s Day to all the beautiful women out there.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MOM AND NAN!!! I LOVE YOU BOTH TO PIECES!! XOXOXOXO

Tip of the Day: YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL HOW A MAN WILL TREAT YOU BY HOW HE TREATS HIS MOM! 🙂

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“LA LA LAND!”

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Hello everyone!!! Happy Thursday/ Cinco De Mayo!! In honor of my tardiness I have decided to move all “new posts” to Thursday from here on out. For whatever reason I cannot get my sh#t together by Wednesday. LOL!

They say that LA is the land of opportunity!!!! The place where dreams come true!! Or as my mother would call it “LA LA Land.” LOL! LA is the only place where you can ski and go to the beach in the same day. What people fail to tell you is that LA has one of  the highest divorce rates in the country. Whether it’s due to the fanatical pressures of living in a big city or  the “throw away” culture of marriage  that grows out of the Hollywood community, if  your looking for a husband in this town you have a better chance of  getting discovered by Al Pacino himself while doing yoga on a deserted island. With all of these options why should anyone settle down? Ok, lets be clear…. LA, bad for husband getting, great for having fun and dating. Lucky for me I still have my youth and my husband searching days are not in my near future.

OK, so you’ve made the decision to date. Now comes the hard part. Where the heck do we find a good man??? When I asked myself this question, the first thing that popped in my head was from the movie “Coming to America”, the part where the old guy is telling Eddie Murphy all the places to find a good woman… “Church, bingo and the grocery store ” LOL!! I can’t take it!! Too funny! But is this true? Can you really find Mr. Right Now, while completing your grocery list? It would read something like this: milk, eggs, chicken, toothpaste, a good man!!! LMAO!! At the end of the day I guess it could be worse…LOL!

SEE VIDEO 

I’m at the age where I do not want to meet a guy in a bar or a club. Where are all the normal guys? LOL! I do have to say, one night after work…. it was about 4 a.m., I was at the Ralph’s on Ventura and this guy totally hit on me. It all started because he was making fun at the fact that he had completed his whole  grocery list and 15 minutes later, I was still in the same spot smelling body washes. Now anyone who knows me, knows how fanatical I am about my baths. Well it starts with the right body wash!! LOL! Ok, moving on. We chatted for a while and finally I gave him my number. I usually don’t give out my number to random strangers but I found him to be very entertaining. I don’t really have a type but I do know when a guy is NOT my type. I went through this faze for about a month where I decided to come out of my comfort zone and be open minded to ALL possibilities. Needless to say we never made it to our first date but to this day, we are still friends.  And so the search continues…… ;D

Tip of the Day: TRY SOMETHING NEW; COME OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING TO END UP! 🙂

I HAVE FEELINGS TOO!!

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Hey everyone!! Happy Thursday! OK, so I realize that I am a day late again with the blog. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not very good with deadlines. I really am trying to keep you guys in the loop and stay on top of this blog thing. LOL! So I do apologize for my tardiness. Seems like this week I’m doing a lot of apologizing. So many lessons to learn, so little time.

This week I found myself struggling with what my next topic should be. I sat down to write something the other day and I was drawing a blank. I have so many experiences and so many stories to share, why can I not think of what to say next??? Me speechless… this is definitely a first. 🙂

This week I thought I would give the boys a rest and maybe rip on myself for a while. I always talk about what men could do to make a better impression or ways they could improve their communication. Then I started thinking…. In what way could I improve MY communication?

A while back I was in a serious relationship with this guy. We fell for each other pretty quick and within a matter of months we were talking marriage. He was everything I’ve always wanted in a MAN. He was older with lots of experiences and he knew how to treat a woman. He was very handsome, distinguished, and had the same taste in food as I did (We both love bland food, pizza and plain cheeseburgers LOL!)  But most of all he made me laugh.

About four months into it I realized this man was clearly dealing with some past issues that had nothing to do with me and I felt it best if we both went our separate ways. We didn’t talk for a while and one day we ran back into each other and decided to be friends.  The REAL type of friends NOT the type with benefits. We found it funny to share dating stories with each other and compare who won the “Worst date ever contest” LOL!

Long story short I had some traumatic things happened all in one month and he wasn’t there for me. I got so angry with him that I just never returned his call or text. I just woke up one day and decided to never speak to him again. For months he called and texted trying to figure out what he did wrong to make me never want to speak to him again. At the time I will admit, I thought it was funny to watch him spin out. I’m not proud by the way I acted but he hurt me so bad that I felt like it was payback time. I know when women get emotional we get a little crazy… I will admit but just this one time. 😉  Don’t judge! LOL!

OK, fast forward to last night. All of his friends randomly came into this new bar I’m working at. They had some shots and left. I looked out the window as they were leaving and saw the back of my ex, who had been standing outside waiting for his friends.  Later that night the text messages started. “I don’t know what I did to you that would make you never want to talk to me again.” By this morning it had dawned on me that I would never want someone to ignore me the way I have been ignoring him and after all, we were friends.

When I spoke to him this mornig I realized how much anger I was carrying around with me. We exchanged points of view and we were both able to communicate our feelings like grown adults. I realized I was acting like a jerk and feel a lot better now that the air is clear. I understand you can’t run from your problems and that life is too short to harbor any negative feelings. Most of us know this but sometimes we forget. Here’s a friendly reminder. Maybe there is a situation in your lives that need healing, what better way to start a Friday then with a clean state. Good Luck! xoxoxoxo

Tip of the Day: TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED!

GET A CLUE!!

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Hola! I have missed you all so much.  Hope everyone has had a great week. I have been a busy bee. So sorry this blog got up so late. I had it written this morning but forgot to save it during my spell check. Unfortunately my computer froze and I had to restart it and I lost most of my beautiful blog. Anyway, it won’t happen again.

For the past week my mind has been racing with what topic to write about next.  I spent all day yesterday with my girl Ashley  at Starbucks brainstorming.  I came up with a couple ideas but mostly I just stared at my computer wondering what time I would have to leave in order to beat rush hour traffic and be home by five, leaving just enough time to get ready for work.  Just like most of the people in this town I am a blogger/tv personality/spokesperson by day and a bartender by night.

I’ve been working in the restaurant industry for as long as I can remember and bartending for thirteen years!! Wow, I’m ancient. LOL! As a bartender I love to people watch. It’s my favorite part of the job. . Being behind the bar I find that most of my conversations are about dating and relationships. People feel so comfortable around me they tell me everything. You would be surprised at some of the personal stuff people tell me. By the end of my shift I feel like I should have charged for all the free relationship advice I give.  LOL!  It’s so interesting to see how people interact with each other. Like a fly on the wall I can pretty much tell what kind of relationship a couple has, just by the way they order their drinks. Example: If a guy orders an apple martini and his chick orders Johnny Black on the rocks, you know who’s wearing the pants in that relationship. LOL!

I see it all. The good, the bad and the ugly.  I see the married guy whose wife is in the bathroom and he’s hitting on the waitress, or the same guy that’s there every week with a different girl, or the guy that takes shots of water while he buys girls tequila to get them drunk. Yup, ladies this actually happens. I’m sure all women know this but NEVER TAKE A DRINK FROM A GUY YOU DON’T KNOW UNLESS YOU SAW THAT DRINK BEING POURED BY THE BARTENDER.  AND NEVER LET YOUR DRINK OUT OF YOUR SITE. And for all my West Hollywood boys, this goes for you too. 😉 I suppose because I do see it all, that I can call your BS from a mile away. To me I know it’s a numbers game and I refused to be just another number.

This blog is inspired by work last night. I had something else written but at the end of my night I felt compelled to share this story. It must have been a full moon last night cause I got hit on, the most I ever have in my entire life!!! It was slow behind the bar so I had nowhere to run. I was stuck. LOL! The first guy came up all cocky with his friends. He ordered some drinks and I asked if he needed anything else. He continued with the famous line “Yeah your number!!” Omg, really dude!!! I met you two seconds ago. At what point did I say or show you I was interested? Ummmm… I didn’t. Ok, so if he was going out on a limb, I can understand that. Ok, let him down gently. “Oh, how sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” LIE!! LOL!!  Then he says that’s ok, I don’t mind….. I have a girlfriend. EWWWWW!!!! Just curious if guys think that is an attractive quality. “Hi I cheat!”  Ummmm, yeah, no. Thanks anyway. You dumb ass, women hate cheaters!! He stands there for about 20 minutes.  He must have asked for my number about 8 times. He was very cocky and he thought I was playing hard to get. I’m thinking no dude, if you can’t tell I’m punking you, just by the way I’m dogging you in front of your friends, your in trouble. He closes out his tab, tells me he’ll be back, and leaves his number. Oh thanks!!! LOL! That guy was so clueless. I’m sure his perception of what happened was totally different. Too funny.

Ok, next guy is about 50!! He sees no problem with the fact that he is as old as my dad. Go figure. Then he tells me in some crazy accent “I have job for you. Everything I do is legal. I makea money, lots… you call me. We make deal.” Ummmm…hmmmmmm…… if you have to tell me that what you’re doing is legal, it’s probably not legal at all. Thanks buddy. Then he says, “ I leave card, you call me.” Ok, dad, thanks. Creepy!!! LOL!

Ok, last guy is sitting out front at a table. The sever tells me he has a question about a drink. I’m calling his BS right away. All the servers are trained on all drinks. Besides, I saw this guy staring at my butt through the window. Duh!!! If you are going to stare, don’t make it obvious. Hmmm.. This guy thinks he’s so smart. So I make him wait 15 minutes to show him he’s not fooling anybody. I finally walk out there and ask him what he needs. Well, what do you know….”nothing” he says. Just wanted to see you up close and personal. I start laughing cause the whole situation is so obvious. “ Next you’re going to ask for my number aren’t you” LOL!!! He says, “ Damn!! I guess I can’t ask for it now!!” I say yup…. And walk away.

It’s the end of the night now, I’m cleaning the bar and I just want to get the heck out of there. I guess the guy from out front wasn’t satisfied with our conversation and gives me his number. I tell him thanks, but I’m never going to use it. Just wanted to be honest. He laughs, says “fine” and starts to walk away. For whatever reason he felt compelled to turn around and give it to me anyway. At that point I said “Hold on, why don’t you take all the phone numbers I got tonight.” He said, “ I don’t want them” I said, “ I don’t want them either, and now you know how I feel” LOL!!  Guess at that point he got the hint and left.

Man, I’m just saying… how can guys be so clueless. Not all guys, but apparently the ones that were hanging out in my bar last night had no idea how to take “no” for an answer. Ummm.. Hello numbers game. If a guy was smart, he would come in a couple times and scope me out to see what kind of person I was, before throwing his number at me. That never works. Or how about asking me my name????!! Women need some kind of emotional connection. Not just you look good… call me. Get real! Be a little different then the rest of the tools out there. I’m not dogging all men, just asking that they be original. To all my gentlemen readers I think you are all brave and keep doing what your doing, we appreciate you and your hard work doesn’t go unnoticed.  I have no problem staying single until I find that man that stands out from the crowd. Prince Charming is out there somewhere and eventually we shall meet.

Tip of the day: HOLD OUT FOR WHAT YOU WANT!! IT’S OUT THERE SOME WHERE! 😉

Also, I want to give a shout out to Ashley, Lauren Anita and Diva for helping me to get this blog thing off the ground!! I LOVE YOU GALS.

And I want to thank all of you for stopping by. I started this blog thing twelve days ago and already have 462 hits!!! That’s amazing!!! YOU GUYS ROCK. XOXOXO

See you next week!!! Same time, same place.

Perception!

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Question of the day: What does it take to make a good relationship? Now everyone has his or her own idea of what a perfect relationship consists of. For example, some couples think getting drunk, watching sports, and playing beer pong is the ideal situation to share with a loved one. Me on the other hand, hold the pong, get rid of the sports, keep the drinks add some late night movie watching and what we have here is a combo of brilliance.

Ok, so we agree that in order to co-exist with one another we have to have things in common with each other. How can one person’s perception of a situation, a date, a relationship, or an experience be so different from another person? But before the relationship comes the magical world of dating!!!

Example A:

So a while back I met this guy at a party. (It’s such a cliché, but in Hollywood that’s what “we” do. LOL! Who is we? I’m cracking myself up right now. Anyway, met this guy, thought he was cool. Dressed very nice, in a suit and his pants touched the ground. This is very important to me. Pants’ touching the ground is one of my non-negotiable items. I’ll talk about that later. Ok, so I thought this guy was cool enough to go on date with. At the time I was into working out hard core so he suggested a hike for our first date. Boy do I miss those days of rock hard abs. LOL!

Ok, Mr. nice suit came to pick me up. First things first, check out the pants. Hmmm, he’s in shorts. Ok, not a problem. Do his shorts come below his knees? Also a non-negotiable item. If your shorts are higher then mine, hit the road buddy. Richard Simmons called, and he wants his shorts back. Ok getting off topic. We are in his black prius and I’m thinking nice guy saving the environment. Sweet! Not 5 minutes in the car with speed racer and I realize he might have a small case of road rage. As we fly down Laurel Canyon he proceeds to cut people off and curse at them like it’s their fault!!! Psycho! I barely made it to Runyon Canyon alive!!! We found rock star parking right up front. Only after this guy gets into a fight with an 80 year grandpa who after yelling for ten minutes, just gave it up. “Oh hell no” I said, yup the Philly came out.  I stepped in the middle to come to grandpa’s defensive but neither one of them paid any attention to me so they both can “suck it” as Chelsea Handler would say.

Ok, let’s recap shall we. I’m on a date with a speed freak with road rage that hates old people!!! Great! I think the date is going well so far. Hmmmm… where was I? Oh yeah, we finally get to the hike and he takes off running like we’re in a marathon. Oh joy, this is so much fun. NOT!!!! I’m always up for a little friendly competition but this is ridiculous. I finally caught up with him towards the end of the hike and his whole body is broken out in blisters. Not sure what the hell it was but it was no bueno! Karma is a bit*h…. just saying. After fifteen minutes the blisters went away. Thank God! Now he is starved and wants to eat. Yeah buddy, I’m sure you worked up a healthy appetite after all that exercise you d*cK!

I agreed to go eat cause anyone who knows me, knows I never turn down food. On the way to Jinky’s Cafe he tells me his depressing life story. His bro killed himself, he’s dad’s in prison, blah, blah, blah!!! I’m not an insensitive person but really dude???? Is it really necessary to tell me all this on the first date? Leave some to the imagination. JeeeZZZZZZ. We get to the restaurant, order and the whole time he’s on his phone. When he finally hangs up all he does is complain about how broke he is. I say nothing at this point. I just stare at him with this look of confusion as he makes the comment “This has been one of the best dates I’ve ever been on!!!!” HUH??? Wow, sad part is, he was serious. Needless to say this guy is not getting a call back. But he did however win worst date of the year! I’m really baffled at the fact this guy thinks this is a good date. How can someone be so clueless? Moral of the story kids…perception is everything.

TIP OF THE DAY: BE SELF AWARE

Also, feel free to post some of your worst dates ever!!! Let’s all have a laugh at their expense.

Hello World!

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“Who is Erica Lynn Johnson”, you ask?

Funny, I find myself asking that same question everyday. Well, let’s start with who Erica is not: she is not great at spelling, or writing for that matter. “Honesty is the best policy!” Ahh good!  Now that the cats out of the bag, we can get down to the important stuff.

Sometimes pursuing your dreams can be lonely.  You know what they say, “it’s lonely at the top”. There’s a reason that saying exists. I gave up a lot to move to California to pursue  my dream of being in the entertainment industry.  Specifically, my family and friends.  Boy, oh boy do I miss those Sunday dinners where my sister and 1st cousins would fight over who had to sit next to the elders. “eww. Who wants to sit next to old people who smell? Not me!” (obviously, I love my family…but seriously, those were the good old days. )

This is my attempt to document my life, my journey and my love; my love for my career and any other love I might encounter along the way.  I’d like to think that I’ve had enough relationship drama to make me an expert in the game of love, and hopefully I can pass along useful tips so the next girl can spot those red flags.  When you see them, you should run like hell!

I have my EYE on the prize and will not settle for anything less than a few, or at least just one good man.

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