“Back to the Drawling Board!”

Leave a comment

Hey hey hey!  Happy Labor day!!!  Ok, I know I’m late AGAIN with this weeks post but the first step is admitting that you have a problem 🙂 Ok, step one complete. HAHAHHAAHAH!

Last week I asked I “When in a relationship do you talk about previous boyfriends/girlfriends?”  My friend Guillermo made a great point in his comment. If you’re on a first date and dude or chic starts talking about the ex, run, run, run as fast as you can. It’s clear they are not over their ex lover. After dating for some time, as you get further into your relationship it might help you understand where the other person is coming from if you know where they have been. Things they like, things they don’t like, turn ons, and turn offs.  This information is all very helpful when creating a life with someone. Use your own discretion.

Ok, next line of business…I’m single again! Yes, I realize this is probably the shortest relationship in history if you don’t count Brittney and her drive by wedding in Vegas.  I officially had a boyfriend for 30 days.  When I talked about how amazing and hot my boyfriend was I left out one tiny detail; he lives in NYC and I’m in LA!!!!!  Maybe we both bit off more then we could handle.  After all, having a relationship is hard enough without having thousands of miles in between.  We both decided that we live too far away from each other to grow as a unit. We are friends and he still continues to be a big part of my life.

Kind of ironic though, I finally figure out how to change my Facebook status from “single” to “in a relationship” and my 30-day courtship ends. LOL!  Which brings me back to my post from August 11, 2011.  Now having had a life changing Facebook status experience (insert sarcasm here) I would like to add that in the future I do not think I will be putting anything in the status box.  Here’s the thing, yes, everything is fine and dandy when you are “in a relationship” but what happens when you break up???  Now, I have to admit my break up was not a painful long drawn out thing.  With that being said what if I was devastated and I now have to change my facebook status?  The dumper is like “Yay!, I’m single again and the dumpee is like kill me, I’m single again and now the whole the world knows.”

In the beginning you are celebrating “Yay! I’m in a relationship!!” When it’s over you have to deal with pity comments from all your Facebook friends and your “I don’t know you friend but somehow we are FB friends and I feel the need to comment and give you support” ummmm…. What??  “I’m sorry who are you again?”  LOL!!  My good friend Kevin/blog editor (did you think I did this all on my own? Told you I wasn’t a writer 🙂 )said putting “In a relationship, or married as your FB status is like getting someone’s name tattooed on you.  It’s the kiss of death.”  LOL!  What do you think?

Well that about does it for me today.  I hope you all have a safe holiday weekend.  See  you next week.  XOXO 🙂



“To Share or not to Share?”


Hello all!  It’s that time of the week again.  Since the last couple of post have been so long, I thought I would cut you guys a break and leave you with one question.


That’s it! I look forward to hearing all your responses. Hope you have a great weekend. See you next week same time, same place. xoxo



Hola! It is yet again another great Thursday! Hope you all are having a fabulous day!  Today’s blog idea comes from my friend Sarah.  Sarah wants to know  “can you be friends with an ex?”  Sarah, surprisingly you are not alone in the quest for what I thought would be a simple answer. Boy was I wrong! It turns out there are many factors that contribute to this question.

Determining factors may include, who broke up with whom, did someone cheat, how long the relationship lasted, did it end on good or bad terms and how long is the restraining order for?  I’m just saying.   Breakups are a scary thing for everyone involved.  When we invest time, energy and emotions into a relationship and it doesn’t work out, very often the person who got dumped is left with a feeling of rejection.  It is very rare that both parties involved decide to mutually break up at the same time but if this is the case and the feelings are mutual, I see nothing wrong with being friends as long as there are no loose ends to tie up.

When deciding if you want to be friends with your ex, ask yourself a few simple questions.  First, “WHY do I want to be friends with my ex?”  Sometimes it’s a comfort thing and you can’t bare the thought of not seeing that person anymore.  If you are the dumper it may be easier for you to be friends with your ex because you broke it off in the first place and somewhere inside, you have already moved on.  You don’t feel like the bad guy if you say, “we can still be friends!” Save it!  Those words are the kiss of death. After a breakup the dumpee will need time to heal before jumping into a friendship… and rightly so.  If you are the dumpee every time you receive a friendly, “let’s get coffee” text, you are constantly reminded of the person that ripped your heart out and only wants to be your “friend”.  For most of us this feeling is all too familiar.

Another question to ask yourself is, “Do I still have feelings for this person?” Again this question would be for the dumpee.  It’s obvious that the dumper may not have the same feelings for you because they ended the relationship in the first place.  If the answer is yes, you do have feelings for that person still, save yourself a lot of heartbreak and move on.  You are only prolonging the healing process.  I know it’s hard sometimes to totally cut someone off, but in the end you will be happy that you did.  It’s the perfect time to figure out who YOU are when you are no longer a “WE”.  I’m sure the other person will understand as well; if they care about your feelings and YOUR healing process.  It doesn’t mean it will be forever, just for now.

If you need help getting rid of that ex for a little bit follow these simple rules:

  1. DELETE HIS/ HER NUMBER!!!!!!!!!  I know, this is a hard one but it’s for your own good.  No one likes that drunken 4 a.m. call where you’re pouring your heart out to the person that broke it off.  Have some dignity. You will feel better in the a.m. that you saved yourself from more embarrassment and humiliation.
  2. Make a list of the five most irritating qualities about that person and keep it in your wallet or purse.  Every time you have the urge to call them pull out that paper.  It will remind you of how much they suck!  Calling them shouldn’t be a problem cause you ALREADY DELETED their number.  Right?  LOL!  If you absolutely can’t deal with not having their number, write it down on a piece of paper and give to one of your friends for safe keeping and then delete it out of your phone.
  3. Last but not least, START A JOURNAL; (guys you don’t have to tell anyone, it will be our little secret).  I know this always sounds like the right thing to do but saying it and doing it are two different things.  Make the time, sit down and get those icky feelings out!!  You will not get anywhere if you hold everything in.  It even helps if you write a letter to the person who hurt you.  You don’t have to send it, just by writing it; it will feel like you actually are talking to that person.

Ok, so we have established some ways to get rid of your ex so now let’s talk about things you should be aware of if you decide to be friends with your ex. First, you have to decide what kind of friendship you will have. Will you be the “occasional coffee date” or will you be “best buds” who tell each other everything or “drinking buddies?’ On a side note, just ‘cause the relationship ended doesn’t mean the attraction is gone. Be very careful if you decide to do the whole “friends with benefits” thing. That never works and someone ALWAYS ends up hurt.

If you decide to be friends with an ex, it is important that the first relationship, (as lovers), is completely over before the second relationship, (friends), can begin.  Also make sure you are not shutting out future prospects because you are so comfortable being friends with your ex.

At the end of the day, each and every one of us has a different and unique relationship. What works for one couple may not work for another couple. No one has the right to judge or tell you how to be in your relationship. With that being said a good rule of thumb is, “Are you happy with the friendship?”. If having your ex as a friend adds joy to your life, then I say keep ‘em.  If you end up in tears most of the time, I’d say it’s time to find a new friend.

That about does it for this week. Take care! 😉





Hello!!  I have to warn you, this post is a little long so no worries if you only get through half and save the rest for another day. 🙂 Ok, let’s talk about it!!! FACEBOOK and relationships!! Man, oh man…where do I even start with this one?? Does Facebook ruin relationships?  How ‘bout we start with some stats and you be the judge?  A 2010 survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) found that “four out of five lawyers reported an increase in divorce in the past five years due to social networking sites”.  Facebook being the NUMBER ONE cause.

I know nothing about divorce, but I do know about dating and being in a relationship. I have been in a relationship “officially” for sixteen days, so I’m quite the expert.  LOL!  When you start dating someone at what point do you change your status to “In a relationship” on Facebook?

Ok, let’s jump back here.  In order to understand and clearly make a decision on whether Facebook ruins relationships or not, we need to weigh all the evidence.  Let’s start with my scenario; I created a Facebook page years ago, in fact I didn’t even create it, I had a friend do it because I was so not into it.  When it was created the relationship status said “single” and it never changed.  If someone sent me a message or comment on a pic, I would check it, but I wasn’t what you would call an “avid Facebooker.”

I’ve had several relationships in the past but the whole time my status stayed the same; reason being that I just didn’t care enough to change it.  Not about the person, I’m talking about the status.  I could barely turn on my computer, let alone change the settings.  It never seemed to be a problem for whomever I was dating, and in return I did not care about their status either.

I usually don’t even like to be Facebook friends with the person I am dating.  It becomes complicated…or so I’ve heard.  Again, I have not had any issues in this department yet…LOL!  With that being said, I have numerous girlfriends complaining about their man’s status, or a comment that some chick named “Candy” left on his page.  The stories all sound and end the same…in a huge fight or a breakup.

Now, let’s fast forward to the present.  The guy that I am now in a relationship with, I am actually Facebook friends with.  We were dating on and off for about two years, and in the beginning at some point, we became FB friends.  Actually, now that I think about it, I think he was the one that requested me and I had no problem with it at all.  I thought it was a solid move on his part.  It was HIS choice so there was no pressure.  You just never know when you first start dating someone.  Guys are usually weird about that sort of thing.  Most men like to date around and want to keep it on the DL (Mom, “DL” means on the down low…or incognito. 🙂 Love ya!) LOL!   Let’s face it, we all know someone that is a FB stalker.  It’s so not cute for guys or girls

So, great!  Now we are FB friends…now what?  LOL!  Do I look at his page?  Is he looking at mine?  If I see something on his page and want to comment, is that weird?  Wait, then he will know I was looking at his page; will he think I’m a stalker?  And here we go, 101 questions.  I know I’m not alone in this thought process Ladies!  Come on, you feel me.  Geeeeez, writing all that just made me FEEL crazy.  Imagine going through it at the time.  Not fun!  But at some point we have all been there.

Next step I will wait and see if he comments on my page then I can comment on his; THEN it’s not weird.  I’m following his lead.  😉 Ok, so now we are patiently waiting for him to comment.  We check his page every once in a while and everything seems pretty normal.  HAHAHA!  All of the sudden, a break in the  “who comments first” situation!  He wants the pics that I took of us hanging out the other night.  “Great! I’ll e-mail them to you.”  That’s “ok” he says, “just post em on FB.”  Jackpot!!  I’m not a stalker and now it will be publicly known that we have and are hanging out.  Of course the whole time I’m cool as a cucumber about the whole thing.

Don’t worry; I haven’t forgotten about my original question, “Does Facebook ruin relationships?”  I will be making that conclusion very soon but first some more evidence.  Now fast forward to 16 days ago when my boyfriend and I had “the talk” about being official.  Great!  A couple days passed and I was on my FB page looking through some old pics when I came across the setting for “relationship status.”  I think it’s a great time to change it from “single” to “in a relationship”; so that’s what I did.  As soon as I changed it, it blasted “in a relationship” and I “updated my status” and all kinds of crap.  What the heck; I thought it was a little much.  I don’t want to shove it down people’s throats.

I check out his page to see what his status is; it said nothing, which is how it was before we started dating and will probably stay that way and I’m totally ok with that.  I think he is where I was a while ago; he doesn’t put too much value on FB. I changed my status because I wanted to and I don’t EXPECT or DEMAND anything from him.

I think this is where most of the fights stem from.  For example, “why are you hiding me?  Are you ashamed of me?  Are you cheating on me?”  Now in some cases there might be an issue if you’re married with six kids and all you have is pics of you and your dog.  Hmmm…Might want to look into that!  I want to give men the benefit of the doubt and say that I believe in most cases that men just really don’t care that much about FB, and ladies trust me, we want to keep it that way.  There’s nothing sexier than a guy that can type as fast a 1950’s secretary without a diploma.  Right??  WRONG!!  Get out from in front of the computer and be active. 😉  Just a suggestion.

Ok, here it comes, finally the conclusion; thanks for hanging in there.  I know it’s a long post but this is a very relevant subject and I had a lot to say.  Get ready for it…FACEBOOK DOES NOT RUIN RELATIONSHIPS!!!  PEOPLE DO!  We have no control over situations that happen; what we do have control over is the way we handle it.  It’s people’s projection of FB that has a tendency to blow everything out of proportion.  Almost everything can be taken the wrong way out of context. If you look at my FB page and flip through my pics you will see some photos of me with other guys.  Newsflash, they are my friends!  Anyone can look at them and say “hmmmm…Who is this guy?”  Especially my boyfriend.  Thank God he is not like that.  He’s a HOT, secure, amazing man and I’m in a relationship because I CHOOSE to be.  It’s all about trust my friends; if you don’t have it than there is NO relationship.

It goes both ways though.  If I look on his page and see some chick calling him baby, I’m not going to get upset.  It means nothing.  It’s just a name.  On the other hand if you read a comment that says “thanks for last night!” when your man told you he was staying in cause he didn’t feel good and had his phone off all night, probably time to find a new bf.  Listen.  To all my readers; save yourself the aggravation and don’t be one of those insecure people that flip through call logs, text messages, and FB. Trust or move on.


HAPPY THURSDAY! The weekend is almost here. 🙂 xoxoox

























“I Have a Girlfriend!”

Leave a comment

Woo hoo!  It’s Thursday and I’m feeling great!  Today’s rant is courtesy of an experience I had earlier this week.  My friend Marissa and I were having dinner the other night at one of our favorite restaurants.  We were so into our conversation and our martinis that we didn’t even notice the two guys that sat down next to us, we were sitting at the bar.  Anyway these guys sat there the whole time scoping us out, waiting for the perfect moment to attack; and here it goes:

Guy: Hey! Do you know what clubs are good tonight?

Me: Ummmm…. Hmmmm… let me think. ( Marissa and I are now on a hunt to help these two guys, who we assume are from out of town and find them something fun to do that night. ( I’m in the industry, you think it would be a breeze for me to think of something to do right?  Wrong!)  Oh a little side note, if you are ever in this situation looking for a great restaurant, bar, or nightclub, check out BEVVY.COM it’s a booking site that you can reserve personal bar tabs at the coolest hotspots in town. (It’s one of my favorite sites!)  Ok, so back to the story.  As I flip through my phone trying to find something for these dudes to do, here it comes… the second question.

Guy: If we get a table somewhere will you ladies join us?

Me: Aww.. thanks but it’s been a long day and I’m really not up to it.

Marissa: It’s late and we’re exhausted.  (I’d like to add it was 7:45p.m. as she was making this statement.  Truth be told we really were exhausted.)

Next question:

Guy:  Can I take you out another night?

Me: Thank you but I have a boyfriend.

Guy: That’s ok, I have a girlfriend.

Ummmmm… really?  Did he just say that to me?  What’s with guys that think it’s ok to cheat on their girlfriends?  Now granted there was no cheating that took place but It’s not my first rodeo.  I know where this was going and wondered did you not realize that basically you just told me you’re a cheater??  As women, this is where our head goes- ladies correct me if I’m wrong.  Man that wants to hang out  + has a girlfriend=  CHEATER!!  Ladies, if he has a girlfriend and he’s looking your way, best believe he would be doing the same thing to you if  YOU were his girlfriend.  Once a cheater, always a cheater!!  Don’t think you are the exception!  He is keeping his eyes out for the next best thing.  Sorry guys.

Now some men might argue it was harmless and he was just being friendly…. “guys are allowed to have friends.”  For all you guys out there, reverse the situation.  Your chick comes home saying she just met this “nice guy” and next week they are going to dinner or bottle service at the club.  Now you tell me if you think it’s harmless?  Ha!  I thought so.

Listen up! Guys, this is a no win situation.  If you are lying about the fact you have a  girlfriend to make the woman feel more comfortable, then you look like you have a wandering eye.  If you really do have a girlfriend then not only do you have a wandering eye, but that also makes you a scumbag/slimeball! NEWSFLASH: WOMEN HATE CHEATERS! In this situation it is best to walk away and if you bump back into that person again maybe the circumstances will be different.  If it’s meant to be…. it will be.  Anyone seen Serendipity? 😉

Oh yeah, before I wrap this up can I just say….. it really bothers me when a guy asks if you have a boyfriend in the first 10 seconds of interacting with a woman.  It’s so obvious that he is just talking to you for one reason and you all know that one reason.  On the other hand, let’s just say I didn’t have a boyfriend and you ask that question? Now I’m just turned off ……play it cool… we’ve only talked for 10 seconds!!!  You  know nothing about me, how can you be interested  after 10 seconds?  You’re not!!  We all know what you are interested in.  LOL!

Instead of the tip of the day, I leave you with this survey about the two guys Marissa and I encountered that night. Have a great weekend!! I’m sending all of you love and light! XOXO 🙂

“The Next Level”

Leave a comment

Hello!!!! Wow, it’s definitely been way too long! Where do I begin? I guess I will take you back to May 10, 2011 which would be my last post. I’m sorry I have gone MIA. During the last couple of months I’ve been going through some big transitions. At first I thought I was the only one going through this big change but as I quickly found out, most of my friends were going through the same thing. For example: Where do I want to live? What do I want to do with the rest of my life? What career path do I want to take and how the heck do I get rid of the 10 lbs that has decided to take residence on my gluteus maximus??? LOL!! And the burning question that all of us single guys and gals want to know….. “When is Prince or Princess Charming coming to sweep us off our feet?”

Well ladies and gentlemen I’m happy to report that as of 10 am on Monday, I’ve been officially off the market!! So apparently, “All the good ones aren’t taken.” 😉 Yup that’s right; I now belong to some lucky fella. Poor guy, I’m not sure if he knows what he’s in for… (In scary Halloween voice!!) HAHAHAHAHAH! JK Anyways, when I started this blog I wanted to document my experience as a single girl in LA looking for the last decent guy in the world. Ok, so I’m being a little dramatic but you get the point. So now, since I’m evolving into the next phase of my life…..my blog will follow suit.

Here’s a question to think about: When you’re dating someone, at what point do you take it to the next level? Just thought I’d leave you with a little food for thought. I hope you all have an amazing Thursday! The weekend is almost here! Oh and I also want thank you for your continued support. The e-mails that I received about getting back on track again were the motivation I needed to start blogging again. So many thanks! 😉



Hey all!! Wow!!! Two posts in two days!!! I’m impressed with myself. LOL! Ok, bare with me as I try to get all my thoughts down before forgetting them.  I’m sorry if this post seems all over the place. I had a very interesting day/night. It all started when my phone rang and woke me from my afternoon slumber. On the other end of the line was a very close friend laughing uncontrollably. She found it amusing that she forgot how to have a normal conversation with a guy. When she actually did stop laughing, her first words were “I know what your next blog could be about… how in this day and age text messages and e-mails now take the place of actual conversations and slowly but surely we are eliminating person to person contact.” (What the heck, it sounds like I’m talking about football!!! LOL! You get my point.)

Ok, let me wipe the sleepys from my eyes. I’m listening. She begins to tell me about this guy she has a crush on. They have been texting for a couple of days but haven’t talked on the phone yet. He is a DJ at her work, so on her break she hangs out in the DJ booth. The conversation is great and never seems to be awkward or uncomfortable at any point. Earlier they were texting and she asked, “How was your day?” Within seconds her phone was ringing and Mr. Charming had made the first step to…… TA DA,  “The phone call.” Now, this is definitely foreign to most people in this culture. It used to be very common back in the 50’s but not so much anymore. Ok, moving on.

She stared at her phone wondering what the heck to say. I really liked this guy; we’ve talked at work before, what the heck is the problem? Why am I so nervous?” She picked up the phone on the last ring and said “Hello.” 😉 They maybe talked about ten minutes and she decided to let herself off easy and end the “Most awkward phone call ever.” She did what any other damsel in distress would do… she called the “Love Doctor” LOL!!!! ME! Ok, I’m cracking myself up. Anyway, she told me it’s been so long since she actually talked to a guy on the phone that she didn’t know how to act or what to say. “How was your day?”  “Ummmmm….fine?” She said. Then returned the question and all she heard was crickets. Hmmmm… Is this true? Could communication, as we know it be changed forever?

Do we hide behind our e-mails and text messages for fear of rejection? When you send a text, most likely you are doing 50 things at a time. The person you are texting never really has your undivided attention. This brings up another “Unsolved Mystery.”  WHAT’S WITH THE DROP OFF TEXTING?????? This is something I am still very confused about. You meet a guy, he likes you, you like him. You start a texting conversation and you ask, “What are you doing tonight?” No response and then two days later you get a “Hey what’s up?” text. What gives??? At first I thought I was the only one this was happening to. After extensive research and plenty of girl and retail therapy I realized it was an epidemic!!!! Not only are men hiding behind text messages but also now they feel they can pop in and out of our lives and conversations whenever they feel like it. Men, if you get busy during the duration of our 5-minute text conversation, all you have to say is “Got to go, talk soon.” That’s it!!! It’s that simple. Listen, us women have given up on the old ways of “The phone call” the least you can do you is end the conversation in a gentlemanly fashion. I’m just saying. LOL!

I have no answers for our generation and the new way of the whole dating thing. All I can say is it’s going to be very interesting and I will be here every step of the way figuring out how to get through this crazy thing we call LIFE. 😉 Good Luck my friends!!! XOXOXOXXO


Older Entries