Question of the day: What does it take to make a good relationship? Now everyone has his or her own idea of what a perfect relationship consists of. For example, some couples think getting drunk, watching sports, and playing beer pong is the ideal situation to share with a loved one. Me on the other hand, hold the pong, get rid of the sports, keep the drinks add some late night movie watching and what we have here is a combo of brilliance.

Ok, so we agree that in order to co-exist with one another we have to have things in common with each other. How can one person’s perception of a situation, a date, a relationship, or an experience be so different from another person? But before the relationship comes the magical world of dating!!!

Example A:

So a while back I met this guy at a party. (It’s such a cliché, but in Hollywood that’s what “we” do. LOL! Who is we? I’m cracking myself up right now. Anyway, met this guy, thought he was cool. Dressed very nice, in a suit and his pants touched the ground. This is very important to me. Pants’ touching the ground is one of my non-negotiable items. I’ll talk about that later. Ok, so I thought this guy was cool enough to go on date with. At the time I was into working out hard core so he suggested a hike for our first date. Boy do I miss those days of rock hard abs. LOL!

Ok, Mr. nice suit came to pick me up. First things first, check out the pants. Hmmm, he’s in shorts. Ok, not a problem. Do his shorts come below his knees? Also a non-negotiable item. If your shorts are higher then mine, hit the road buddy. Richard Simmons called, and he wants his shorts back. Ok getting off topic. We are in his black prius and I’m thinking nice guy saving the environment. Sweet! Not 5 minutes in the car with speed racer and I realize he might have a small case of road rage. As we fly down Laurel Canyon he proceeds to cut people off and curse at them like it’s their fault!!! Psycho! I barely made it to Runyon Canyon alive!!! We found rock star parking right up front. Only after this guy gets into a fight with an 80 year grandpa who after yelling for ten minutes, just gave it up. “Oh hell no” I said, yup the Philly came out.  I stepped in the middle to come to grandpa’s defensive but neither one of them paid any attention to me so they both can “suck it” as Chelsea Handler would say.

Ok, let’s recap shall we. I’m on a date with a speed freak with road rage that hates old people!!! Great! I think the date is going well so far. Hmmmm… where was I? Oh yeah, we finally get to the hike and he takes off running like we’re in a marathon. Oh joy, this is so much fun. NOT!!!! I’m always up for a little friendly competition but this is ridiculous. I finally caught up with him towards the end of the hike and his whole body is broken out in blisters. Not sure what the hell it was but it was no bueno! Karma is a bit*h…. just saying. After fifteen minutes the blisters went away. Thank God! Now he is starved and wants to eat. Yeah buddy, I’m sure you worked up a healthy appetite after all that exercise you d*cK!

I agreed to go eat cause anyone who knows me, knows I never turn down food. On the way to Jinky’s Cafe he tells me his depressing life story. His bro killed himself, he’s dad’s in prison, blah, blah, blah!!! I’m not an insensitive person but really dude???? Is it really necessary to tell me all this on the first date? Leave some to the imagination. JeeeZZZZZZ. We get to the restaurant, order and the whole time he’s on his phone. When he finally hangs up all he does is complain about how broke he is. I say nothing at this point. I just stare at him with this look of confusion as he makes the comment “This has been one of the best dates I’ve ever been on!!!!” HUH??? Wow, sad part is, he was serious. Needless to say this guy is not getting a call back. But he did however win worst date of the year! I’m really baffled at the fact this guy thinks this is a good date. How can someone be so clueless? Moral of the story kids…perception is everything.


Also, feel free to post some of your worst dates ever!!! Let’s all have a laugh at their expense.